If you ever get to read this, then you will probably think that I am mad, maybe you're right?, because logically, I can't believe the way that I think and feel either, but it is just so, and I cannot change it.
From the first moment I saw you, in 1996, I 'knew' you. I suppose that many fans have this feeling about the ones that they admire, I don't know?, I have never felt like this over anyone in the public eye before, I have never felt like this about anyone in my life before. But I know that you and I are meant to be together. We were together in another life, it was in a Spanish or Mexican civil war, you and I were lovers back then, it is something that I just 'know', I can't explain it, it is just there. Do you remember the song 'Fernando' by Abba?, I was about 15 when this was in the music charts, and this song always touched me very deeply. I could never figure out why until I fist saw you, then I knew, as much as anyone can know or remember a past life anyway. I have always felt 'lost' in this world, like there is something missing, a part of me is missing, that part is you, and I know that is how you feel too. You feel restless and feel that there is a part of you missing, you need to feel truly loved. I can tell this by looking at you, no matter what film or photo I see you in, you always look sad in your eyes, even when you're laughing, the eyes are the window to the soul. You look sad because you are lost in this world just like me, you make all of your films and keep yourself busy to hide that lost and lonely yearning that you feel deep down inside of you. You and I would only ever be really happy if we were together, I would put a smile into those sad eyes of yours, I would make you happier than you've ever been in the whole of your life.
I keep hoping and dreaming that we will get together finally in this life, but I have to tell myself that it's not to be in this life and that we'll have to wait until the next one, this is the only way I can stop myself from going crazy and getting depressed. How long must we wait though?. I love you Jean, you are my heart and soul, you touch my spirit in a way that no one else could ever do. I wish that you weren't an actor, I wish that you were a roadsweeper or something, at least that way, maybe our lives in this life would intertwine. I finally found out what to call this phenomenon yesterday, I'd always classed us as true soul mates, but from yesterday, I know that we are really 'twin flames', two of a kind, destined to be together. All of my love to you, wherever you are..... Eddie x x x (9th June 04)