To be honest,I haven't really got a lot that I can say about my young years. Your childhood is supposed to be a good time in your life,a memorable time of happy,hazy days, I think that you will find that mine wasn't really a very memorable one?, although I will say, I do like the person that I've grown into, and I do hope that I never seem too bitter?.
I was born on 15th December 1960 in the very early hours, I guess that this must have been what made me a nightbird ever since I was a child?. I am the oldest of 6 children,me,Paul,Melanie,Antoni and Irene and a half brother Derek.Irene died when I was 15,so I guess that makes me the eldest of 5 children then?....
At 22 months old my mum found me in my cot all blue,I was rushed into Hospital in a coma,they thought I had Pnumonia,it was later diagnoed as Diabetes Meletus.Funny really,apparently I was always crying,so why didn't my mum take me to the doctors sooner,she should have realised that something was wrong?.I spent a lot of time,or so it seemed then,when I was a kid,in and out of Hospital,but they never explained to me why I was always in and out of there?.I hated it and when I was quite small,I used to think that I must have done something really bad at home to be in here for what seemed like nothing?.I was quite an intelligent kid,so why couldn't someone explain to me what was going on?,it's not like I felt ill or anything,so couldn't understand why I was there?.They used to tell my mum how to deal with my diabetes,but with her,unless it's about knitting patterns?,she's not interested,it goes into one ear and out of the other,I just don't think that she has the IQ capacity to realise what is being explained to her?.Hey,I was in there because of my Diabetes,and my mum would sneak me in packets of biscuits???......
I used to hate my hospital stays,I used to be so bored and would lay in bed at nights and plan my escape from there.I even used to creep off into the playroom and put the TV on in the dark and watch the horror films!hahaha.The hospital stuff went on until I was 13.Actually,a couple of months before I was 13,I forgot to take my Insulin one Sunday morning,by the Monday morning,I had been rushed into Stoke Mandeville hospital,Aylesbury in a Coma.I spent two weeks in Hospital but luckily,didn't suffer any permanent damge eh: blindness,brain damage,well,I don't think I did anyway,I could be wrong?hahaha.
Other stuff that I can remember from being small is,I hated School with a passion!.I could read and write before I started school,so when I went,it was so boring!!!.They should have realised that I didn't work because I was bored and not becuase I couldn't be bothered?,but no,they didn't care,so long as you're not causing trouble,they don't give a hoot!.I hated the books that they gave me to read at school,Janet and bloody John!,what??!!.I was going home from school and reading books about the Egyptians and reading 'Pan books of short Horror stories' and those American magazines that you could buy in the 60s...Superman,Suspense,Spderman and my favourite of all,Honey,one all about a blonde model,I really wanted to be her.What with Honey and Barbie dolls,this is what shaped my idea of how I wanted to look when I was grown up Ireckon?.Also,ever since I could hold a pencil,I could draw,so Art at school was easy.I'd spend much of my day drawing pictures for other pupils instead of doing my schoolwork. Actually,I never really felt like I fitted in at school,right from when I was small,I seemed to get on much better with older people than I did my own age.
My first schoolteacher was a tall slim dark haired woman called Mrs Yates,I didn't like her from the start,she didn't seem to like me much either?,she was a right old cow!.I was in her class for the first couple of years. I had always wished that I could have been in this older male teachers class,his name was Mr Allen,he was short.plumpish and bald,but I always felt that if I had had a teacher like that,that I would have got on better in school?,there just seemed to be something about his way that I respected.Oh,there was one thing that I liked about Miss Yates class,and that ws the Dolls house!.When it ws time in the afternoons to go and play woth the toys,I always ran to the minature house with the minature furniture and people,I really loved playing with that,and always wanted one of my very own,which I never had until I was very much older and paid for it myself.888888888 My last year of little school was great as school goes,I had a lady teacher called Mrs Day,she was a nice old thing and I always felt that she liked me?.A lot of years later,Mrs Day met my mum in town and asked her how I was doing etc?,she then told my mum that I had a vocabulary all of my own hahaha...I still have!.Actually,looking back on it,I suppose that I was kind of like the rebellious teachers pet?.
The other things that I can really remember from being a kid,but would rather forget,was the good hidings our dad used to give us with his leather belt.When I was around five years old,I got into a fight with Tina,the girl next door,my dad gave me a bloody good hiding in the middle of the street,he only stopped because Tinas mum was screaming at him to stop!!.I can still remember the dress I had on that day,a little lilac check one.I was quite tough when I was little,I had to be I suppose?.
One time,my dad was laying into my brother Paul,although,that was nothing new.I was stood there crying and screaming for my brother,my dad had even chucked Paul up against the cupboard and Paul stopped breathing for a few seconds.My dad turned and told me that if I didn't shut up?,I would get it as well.
Another time with me was,I had been into town with my mum one Saturday,I can't remember what happened?,but I got sent upto my bedroom for something or other,I went up and was really angry and kicked the stool over in temper,the next thing I knew was,my dad was up there beating me with his belt again!!.
We were always getting hit with dads belt,but he'd hit us first and then ask after if we had done whatever it was that we had supposed to.What kind of bastard dad is that?,he never,ever treated Rosemary and Julie the same way that he did us.
Saying that though,I really got on with my two elder half sisters,they used to treat me and Paul nice,so did their mum Mary.Yes,my dad had my mum living there,had given her three children and yet he had his first wife in the next room!.I don't know what Mary,Rosemary and Julie thought of this?,I couldn't have done it.Mary died when I was about 5 years old,I know it was at around this time because I always used to run upstairs after school to see her,she was always good to me and Paul and she even used to look after us when our mum went out.
In 1965,our mum and dad took us to Poland,I suppose this was the nearest thing that we ever had to a Holiday?.My dad originally came from Poland,so we were going over to see his family over there,they all were really wonderful people and I still have very fond memories of it.I just loved the journey there!,we went from London by train to the port and then we went on a ship,that was wonderful!,I spent my time on the deck,I certainly had my sea legs.From the Hook of Holland,we went by train through Germany to Poland.I loved being in Poland,my dads youngest brother Anjé used to take me everywhere with him and his friends,I was 4 and a half,he was 17,but oh,how I loved this tall blonde man in my little girls way.The day that we left Poland to come back to England broke my heart,I can remember sitting on the train and crying my eyes out that I didn't want to leave my young uncle!.I have never been to Poland since and have never seen my 'first love' again. *** Other trivial stuff from when we were kids is:When it came to Christmas or birthdays,we never really had anything that we could go to school and brag about with our mates.We would mostly get stuff that our mum liked,not what she thought we'd like,she'd never think that far.One Christmas me and Paul got these Teddy bears each,we were around 7 and 8 years old,we didn't really have a thing for cuddly toys,probably because we hadn't had any when we were very small?,so these ended up in the cupboard.One year we had a compendium of games,between us,I've never really been a games person,I still aren't and when I was about 11 years old,my mum bought me and my sister Mel a Teeny Tiny Tears!!,did she think we were little girls?,did she think that all I wanted to be when I grew up was a bloody mother?!.Why couldn't my mum have bought me a drawing book and pencil,a book to read,or even a Barbie Doll?!,I loved Barbie Dolls,but I only ever got ones that were second hand from girls at school.When visiting my mums relations in Sonning once,one of my mums cousins lined up a whole load of dolls against the wall for me to pick one out and keep,I picked the blonde haired Tressy teenage doll,I thought she was beautiful and wanted to look just like her,the long hair piece was missing from her head and her fingers had been nibbled reallly long,but I still thought she was beautiful!,I kept her for years and used to love sitting there making clothes for her,I was very good at handsewing and clothes designing for my teenage dollsI did get a Sindy doll one year,I must have been about 6 or 7 ?,but I didn't have that very long,my dad broke it's head off by hitting me around the head with it,the tight bastard didn't even buy me another to replace it!.The only presents I had that I liked were usually from my half sisters,once I had a pretty purple and white plastic handbag for one of my birthdays,another time,I got a Parrot headed umbrella from them when 'Mary Poppins' was popular,I'd never seen the film of Mary Poppins,I still haven't,but I did like the little umbrella.
Then there was the clothes aspect of our young years....Hahahaha,what a bloody laugh!.Us kids had to make do with clothes from the local jumble sales and was lucky to have something modernish if one of the kids at school gave us something to wear.Yes,I know that there was lots of us kids,yes,there was only our dad working,mum would sit on her arse at home watching TV whilst we were at school,oh,then sometimes,she would be meeting her other boyfriends,it's surprising how many 'uncles' us kids had,yet we never got any extra Christmas presents??? hahaha.Our mum certainly never went without,even if us kids did,she was having new frocks nearly every week,she didn't have to wear other peoples second hand clothes like us kids did.
Then there was the housework.
Yep,right from when I can remember,and I'm talking little school age here,me and my brother had to do the housework.hoovering,dusting,the washing and wiping up,I even had to have my bare hands down the toilet scrubbing it on a Sunday morning.Wow,who needs servants or cleaners when you have little kids to do the housework for you?.My mum would cook the dinner on Sundays,that's if dad didn't,he was a great cook,our mums cooking leaves a lot to be desired,even now...
Paul is my brother and is only 11 months younger than me,so I suppose that we are like twins really?.We used to fight like cat and dog at times,but we also loved each other,I suppose each other is all we had at that time in our lives?.Me and Paul have always been great friends as well as brother and sister,even when we were very little,we used to go out for the day.We'd nick a couple of bob out of Rosemarys hanbag,buy a couple of Mars bars or something and then spend the day down the woods,up the fields or more often than not,down the towns large cemetry.We used to love looking around all of the old graves and we'd feel sorry for the bear and unkept ones,so we used to take flowers from the new graves and put them onto the desolate ones.I know it was stealing,but at the time,we just felt sorry for the occupants and felt that no one loved them,a bit like we felt then eh?.We used to go and sit at Marys grave too as we always liked her very much.I used to love my times in the graveyard,there was always a peaceful and a nice feeling about the place. Me and Paul also loved going through empty old houses that we found on our travels.I feel quite sorry for the kids these days,they don't seem to have the freedom and the adventure in them that we used to have ?. We would got into any cupboards that we found,up in the attics,down in the cellars and we would take anything that we thought would be useful to us?,you'd be surprised at some things we thought would be useful to us too! hahaha.I especially used to love finding books of any kind,they would always go home with me.I once found a book called 'The Caretakers' in an old house,I took that one home and read it too.
I got on really well with our two half sisters Rosemary and Julie,I can remember kneeling on the sofa inbetween Rose and Julie in the dark one evening,they were both still at secondary school,Julie was in love with some boy and we were all kneeling there singing a song,I don't know if it was ever a record,or just a song that my sisters made up?,the song was 'Send a letter to Barry',I can still remember the words and the tune!.I've never heard it on the radio or anything and yet I am very knowledgable on 1960s music.
I guess that my 1960s musical taste come from always being in the bedroom with my two sisters?.They would always have the record player on and would always have the newest songs out and we would learn the words off by heart and sing along with the records.
Rosemary used to take me out with her and her boyfriend Paul when I was very small,they used to take me to Pauls house and they used to take me out in the car with them,I really loved those days.I was heartbroken when my sister split up with Paul.
Rose and Julie used to take me and Paul for long walks down the woods with them,and you know what?, I swear to this day that I saw a Witch down the woods one Sunday afternoon!hahaha.There was this old woman,sat on a fallen tree,in the middle of the woods,and she was peeling potatoes!....I swear to this day that is what I saw!.
I remember when I was 7 and Julie getting married,she was 16 and had only just left school,she was pregnant!.She got married and we never saw her again for years,I missed my half sister and one day,whilst my other half sister was out,I sat and ruined an old single called 'Juliet' by The Four Pennies,Juliet sounded like Julie and I couldn't bear to hear that song anymore,even though I had loved it.
When my sister Rosemary got married,it was different,she didn't live very far away from us and so we still saw her very often.Wow,when Rosemary got married,she even left me her record player! whoo hoo!,my own record player!,I was chuffed to bits with that,what a wonderful thing to leave a little girl that so much loved her music!.The record player was a little red and grey one,Rose had gotten it with old Embassy cigarette coupons and now it was mine!.She even left me some of her old 1960s singles to play on it :)
My sister Melanie...I don't know if this happens to many people,I guess it does from time to time?.But when I was about 10 and a half years old,we had another sister!,I don't mean that there was a new baby born into our house,I mean that there was a girl of around 8 years old suddenly living with us!.Me and my brother had never known a thing about this girl that was suddenly there,it was very strange and very strained,we didn't understand what on earth was going on?,our mum and dad didn't even sit us down and explain to us what had gone on beforehand,who this girl Melanie was or anything?!.
I did find out from my mum,when I was about 24 years old,what had happened.My mum had fell pregnant with my sister,she already had me and paul,Paul was a baby and I had just come down with my Diabetes around 2 months before,so it was the easiest thing for my mum to give my sister away,I have to admit,I'm not very maternal,so I can understand the reasoning behind this.
It was nice in most ways,I had someone that I could sit in the bedroom with and make dolls clothes for our Barbies,or we would sit and draw pictures,me and my sister are both good at art.We could go out to town together and go shoplifting in Murrays,a great big department store together.But,I hated my sister in some ways too,because my dad seemed to like her?.I had never felt at ease with my dad,I always felt that he didn't like me for some reason?,and I hated it,all I had ever wanted was my dads apporval,but I never got it.I took it out on my sister,I know it wasn't her fault now,but you don't see things like that when you are young,it didn't help much that our mum called her daddys pet and treated her like a slave either,so the rest of us treated her horrible too,even Antoni and Irene,and they were only little.After what seemed an eternity?,the Social Services put my sister into care,my dad only blamed me,or so it seemed?,he wouldn't put any of the blame on my mums plate.
I actually missed Mel,I kept it quiet from everyone else,it's not like were were a family that sat and talked to each other anyway.It seemed that she was 'away' for years?,I was even at Secondary School when she came back home.But I do remember the Social Worker coming around one Sunday afternoon and telling us that Mel was coming back home,he got me on my own and asked me what I thought?,I told him that I wanted her back home and that I missed her.I was so happy,I even wiped the dishes up after I had washed them!,Paul was supposed to have wiped up too! hahaha.
When Mel got back home,mum hadn't changed towards her at all,but me and Paul tried to stick up for her wherever we could,me and Mel were like friends I suppose?,we still are,I don't suppose that I can say that we're like real sisters,cuz we don't know how real sisters are?,we don't really know how a real family is either,so we make the most out of what we can.